If you’re preparing to get married, you have two options when it comes to your [tag]wedding vows[/tag]. First, you could use traditional wedding vows that have already been written and used by hundreds of thousands of couples all over the world. Second, you could write your own wedding vows.
Unfortunately, deciding to write your own wedding vows inevitably raises the question of [tag]how to write wedding vows[/tag]. It can be an intimidating process. People who write their own wedding vows usually feel a lot of pressure to write vows that will be sufficiently personal for themselves and their future spouse but also feel a lot of pressure to write vows that their guests will “ooh” and “ahh” over.
The best piece of advice that you as a vow writer can use is not to worry about what your guests might think of the vows. The truth is that you and your future spouse will use these vows as a benchmark in your relationship for a lifetime; your guests probably won’t remember a word of them by the time they arrive at the reception.
Once you’re ready to write vows that are entirely for you and your future spouse, start thinking about the unique and timeless aspects of your relationship. Many couples are tempted to write vows that relate to a very specific time or activity that they both enjoy (see the vows scene in Wedding Crashers for a painful example). If this is truly what you want to base your vows around, go ahead; but remember, you want these vows to mean as much to you in three or four decades as they do on your wedding day.
As you try to consider what parts of your relationship are timeless, think about things like why you fell in love with your future spouse but also what you expect you and your future spouse to struggle with. Marriage may seem like the easiest institution in the world on your wedding days, but there will also be days down the road when your marriage seems very difficult. For instance, you and your spouse may struggle with unfounded jealousy; if so, try to work a thought on unconditional trust into your vows.
Finally, don’t try to memorize your vows. Repeat them after the ceremony officiant or print them on a note card and read them. Even though you wrote them, chances are high that under the pressure and excitement of your wedding day, you’ll end up getting nervous and freezing up or saying them wrong. [tag]Writing your own vows[/tag] isn’t worth it if you can’t remember them on your Big Day!
The team at Signature Wedding Aisle Runners